Spelling...a rose by any other name?

"You know that your family spells our last name incorrectly, don't you?" my first cousin said to me.  I paused as I considered that he was just getting started as a genealogist.  But, he had asked for my advice. 

In my research, I have, as many serious genealogists have, found my name spelled many different ways.  The most common four spellings are McLachlan, McLaghlin, McLauchlin and McLaughlin. Both of the last two spellings can be found in my grandfather's papers, as well as an "X" for his signature. Therein lies at least part of the problem -- many of my forebears could not (or could barely) read or write. Their names were spelled as those they encountered who could read or write heard them.  The other explanation seems to be that our ancestors, through at least the early 20th century, did not care nearly as much about spelling as we have come to.  This certainly applies to my father, who only had a 5th grade education.  He did not have much use for writing or paper records until much later in his life, long after all his children had adopted the infamous "g" that seems to disturb many of our cousins. JennieV, my genealogy role model, spelled her name with the "c" (third spelling above).  It seems to be the most popular spelling in our line for the name.

Speaking of my cousins, how did I respond to my first cousin, new genealogist, and 10 years my elder? As gently as I could, I told him that I knew, though our fathers were brothers, that we did spell our names differently. I wish I could have told him why, but it was a question I had never asked my father, who was the source of the change, as far as I can tell from my research.  He didn't seem to be too happy with that response, but I think he might come around as he looks at the old documents. In my immediate family, it's too late to change the spelling of our name.  The cousins aren't changing theirs, either.  That's the proof that we are related - a streak of stubbornness that we all share.